I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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