i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
