No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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