So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
