you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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