Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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