Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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