I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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