Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
50% drunk capacity currently
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
