know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
