Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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