Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
