At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
