Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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