dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
