if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
