Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
