if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
