So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
