Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
True strength comes from lack of pants
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
