Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
