you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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