Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
