Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
