i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
