That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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