Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
