I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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