holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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