he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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