We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
