I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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