I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
