i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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