Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
