Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize