I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
