you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
