Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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