my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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