He is an equal opportunity slut.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
