she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize