I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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