& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they're like a gay fantastic four
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
