Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
