i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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