New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
