what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
