I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
two words...techno handjob
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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