You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
