Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
