we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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