oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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