Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
