OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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