drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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